One of my readers contacted me in response to my article about past lives and paying karmic debts. She posed 3 very interesting questions: 1) Why the need to surround oneself with people with similar karma? 2) Self-history of victim of incest and abuse, now emergent pattern in my child’s life as well. How do we both break free? 3) Is there a transformation of negative karma possible through doing good for others who suffer similarly?
I want to thank the reader for contacting me (and apologize that it’s taken me so long to address these insightful and thought provoking questions). I intend to address these questions in this article, but first, I want to make two things clear.
First, I will share from my own personal life and reveal that I too experienced the violation of incest from an immediate family member as a child. I say this only to assure you that I do know what you have been through – not just from a conceptual level but from an experiential level. This article is therefore written from a place of understanding and deepest humility.
The second thing I want to make clear is that I do not claim to supply the universal end all and be all answer to any question. That is not my intention (and if it were, I would stop reading now if I were you). My intention is to inspire you to your own new thought, to help you find a key that will unlock a new door in your mind.
Only your own new thought can take you to the next level or give you the growth and expansion you seek. And, only you can unlock that new door. No one outside of you can supply your ultimate answers because they are unique to you. I simply hope to inspire you to that new thought (whether you agree with the words in this article or not).
So, with that out of the way, let’s dig into those questions:
1) Why the need to surround oneself with people with similar karma?
In fact, you do not need to surround yourself with people with similar karma. You are attracting people with similar vibrations to your own. When your predominant vibration is one of “victimhood”, “violation”, “damage”, “blame” or any other thing (positive or negative), this becomes the predominant message that you are sending out into the universe and the universe absolutely will reflect the parallel back to you. This is inescapable due to the law of attraction. It is an absolute and you can count on it!
2) Self-history of victim of incest and abuse, now emergent pattern in my child’s life as well. How do we both break free?
This may be the hardest one for you to hear, but in my own experience, there is only one path to true freedom: You must completely let go of the illusion of “victimhood” – and even the “survivor” mentality – and drop the “blame cycle” entirely. As long as you are “blaming” or holding someone outside of yourself responsible for anything in you life, you can’t truly progress. Period. You must take full responsibility for everything in your current reality.
This is tough to hear and even tougher to do. (Believe me, I know!) But the good news is, if you can embrace this message, you will not believe the empowerment and freedom that lie ahead of you! It is like a magic wand that will transform you into something you didn’t know was possible. Really! (And, by the way, the most powerful thing you could do to help your child at this point is to demonstrate doing just that!)
3) Is there a transformation of negative karma possible through doing good for others who suffer similarly?
Again, this may be a little tough to hear, but very empowering once fully embraced: You do not need to “transform” anything negative. What you need is to shift your focus away from “negative” to “positive”.
You are growing, evolving and reaching for more. That’s why you are here on this planet right now. You can call this “transforming” if you like, but it isn’t about focusing on something negative until it becomes positive. (In my experience, this is a waste of energy.)
As I said in the original article, “Reliving painful experiences of the past, whether in this lifetime or the last, doesn’t help us!”Focus on where you want to go from here, what you want to grow into and give that all of your energy.
Now, it’s fine to help others who “suffer similarly”, as you say, if you resonate with that, but be careful not to align with the “suffering” part, because that’s what you’ll attract! It isn’t about paying a debt or making right a wrong, it’s about growth, expansion and forward movement, for you and for us all – for our global consciousness.
Feeling trapped in a cycle of negative karmic debt is one of the most disempowering and limiting beliefs that exist. If you feel you are paying some sort of karmic debt or experiencing karmic retribution in this life experience – if you feel that your past lives are somehow messing up your here and now – then I invite you to begin to step into your power by taking one small baby step right now: forgive yourself for anything you think you’ve done wrong and accept your unfathomable value – to your higher self and to all that is.